Surrender.

About a week ago, I was reading Jeremiah 38. At this point in the book, the threat of the Chaldeans' invasion was hanging over Judah. Earlier in the book, God had said that if Israel and Judah repented of their sin and idolatry and turned back to follow Him, He would relent of the foretold destruction. Now, at this point, it was too late for that. Israel and Judah refused to listen. But the Lord in His mercy offered them another option, which He presented through Jeremiah to Zedekiah the king of Judah.

 "Then Jeremiah said to Zedekiah, "Thus says the LORD, the God of hosts, the God of Israel: If you will surrender to the officials of the king of Babylon, then your life shall be spared, and this city shall not be burned with fire, and you and your house shall live. But if you do not surrender to the officials of the king of Babylon, then this city shall be given into the hand of the Chaldeans, and they shall burn it with fire, and you shall not escape from their hand." -Jeremiah 38:17-18

For some reason, this really stuck out to me. The word "surrender" caught my eye. As I thought about it, I realized that it made perfect sense in a military perspective- you know, "Surrender now, and your lives will be spared" etc., etc.  But to me, it still sounded strange. God was telling them to surrender? It doesn't seem to make sense from a spiritual perspective. My thought was, Are we not to be actively fighting against the enemy, refusing to give in? When I thought about it again, I realized that the Chaldeans were not the enemy in that situation. No, in fact, they were an instrument of God's will. The real enemy is selfishness, stubbornness, and pride. All these things are a hindrance in faith. God had a plan to save and redeem His people, but for these reasons, the people weren't willing to trust Him. Selfish concerns must have risen in hearts. Stubborn attitudes ignoring Him. Pride, people thinking that their plan is better than God's.  These are the obstructions to be fought; they are the fiery darts of the evil one.

When God wanted the people to surrender to the Chaldeans, He really was asking them to surrender to Him. It was all part of His plan. But what does it really mean to surrender? I looked up several definitions (on dictionary.com) of the word, but these were the first three:

1.	to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.

2.	to give (oneself) up, as to the police.

3.	to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.:He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.

I really like these three, because I think they really apply to how God wants us to surrender ourselves. Translated in simple words, He wants us to surrender our possessions, our bodies, and our lifestyle to Him.

By "possessions" I do not refer simply to physical possessions. Often, He asks us to surrender an attitude, one that is not glorifying to Him.  Selfishness, greed, rebellion, pride... all those attitudes that quietly slip into our hearts. Sometimes He asks us to surrender a physical possession, maybe one that we are a little too attached to. Sometimes He asks us to surrender a worry or a fear to Him- which, oddly, is easier said than done. He gently asks us to let Him carry our burdens.

Surrendering our bodies means offering up ourselves as a vessel of service in the Kingdom. It means letting Christ use us however He wants to- and He will most definitely use us if we let Him! It means being committed to serving Him in whatever way He presents us with.  It means sacrificing our time and energy. It means sacrificing some of the things that we as humans naturally seek after, like spare time to dote on ourselves.

The third definition just drives the other two farther into the heart. All this sacrificing that we are to do for Christ- it's not a one-time only thing. It's not a short bargain or deal. It's a lifestyle. It's a continuous, dedicated, focused effort. It begins in the little choices, like how to spend free time. It's an every-day dying to self. It's hard. Nowhere in the Bible does it ever say that taking up your cross daily is easy! But I know that it is so worth it. When I think of the contrary, I think of wallowing in guilt and misery. If we take up our cross daily, the Lord will reward us. We will reap the benefits in Christ!

I know God is calling me to surrender to Him, in so many different ways. "Surrender to Me. Let go of your own will, fall back in My arms. Trust my plan for your life. Do not fear; be still and know that I am God. Seek my will for your life. Search for delight in me, and you will find true joy."

Surrender. Who knew there could be so much victory in Christ behind the word?

Love.

"For I am the LORD your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

I give Egypt as your ransom,

Cush and Seba in exchange for you.

Because you are precious in my eyes,

and honored and I love you,

I give men in return for you,

peoples in exchange for your life."

-Isaiah 43:3-4.

Yes, I know this is a little late for Valentine's Day, but this is
one my absolute, all-time favorite verses. This is what I
celebrate during this Valentine season-

A beautiful love story between me and Christ, authored by
The Author of love and romance. My fellow single sisters in
Christ, please don't be depressed this season-

you have more than a special someone... you have the special
Someone! He loves us with an amazing, indescribable,
everlasting love! Join in me in delighting in Him and His love!

Happy Valentine's Day! (belatedly.) <3

"P.S."- I realized that I just updated yesterday, so I wanted to say that any comments on
my previous posts are welcomed by me! =)
I love getting comments on anything, whether it's current or not.

Oh, and credit for the photo goes to Beth and her wonderful

photography skills!! <3

The Battle

The clatter of dishes sounds all around me. Several voices are shouting throughout the steamy kitchen. The savory smells of creamy chicken dishes floated all around. Scrambling all around, four girls try to wash/dry dishes, make the coffee, dish up dessert, pour cold drinks and wait on seven tables- all at the same time. We were severely short-handed, and suffering greatly from it. All of us were young, two highschoolers and two junior highers. I had already broken one coffee pot, so I had to make due with a different one. None of us knew what we were supposed to do with the food; we had to wait for instructions. Any time we took (what seemed like) a  2-second breather (sometimes to eat), we were immediately put to active work, despite the fact that we had not eaten dinner yet.

So, in all this chaos, I stood at the sink, washing and drying endless amounts of dishes. I was tired. I was hungry. I was unhappy. I was emotional. I was snappy. I was discontent. I was on the verge of tears. This was not what I had expected at all; it was nothing like last year. I wasn't prepared to be doing everything at once. I didn't feel emotionally strong enough to keep trying to act as an encourager to the younger girls. I was tired of the miserable atmosphere. "Why is this happening, Lord? I can't do this any longer, I really can't! I'm so tired. It's just too hard!" But immediately, His gentle reminder came back to me. "Is anything too hard for me? You cannot do this because you are doing for yourself. Do it for me. Let me be Your strength. Trust me." I thought back to Jeremiah 32:2- "Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?" I felt myself renewed with strength. I could keep fighting, working hard- for Him.

Unfortunately, I found a lot about myself through this situation. People say the extremely stressful situations reveal true character. I'm a little afraid of what I saw in me. I have a lot of growing and stretching ahead of me. My focus slips so easily to myself instead of God. Sometimes I wonder why it's so easy to be self-centered, and so hard to focus and trust the Lord. But then I remember that it is not just my own will that I'm fighting against. I'm up against a real enemy- Satan. He so cunningly plants lies in my head, constantly seeking to make me stumble and fall into his snares. As a friend said, he doesn't tempt us by coming up to us with a cigarette; no, his ways are far more sly and subtle. He tempts us to yell at a family member, get irritated with a friend, think of my needs first... all these things that seem little. 

When up against such an enemy, it is foolish to let your guard down- yet it's so easy to forget he's there, because he disguises himself as a friend. It's a constant raging battle. And while it is easy to lose hope, I must remember that I am on the Lord's side- "...if God is for us, who can be against us?" Rom. 8:31. He is my Strength and my Song. And He will continue to grow me and change me, teaching me how to be Christ-centered and trusting. He is so patient. I've come to realize that He doesn't always ask me to leap mountains for Him- He just wants me to be content with baby steps, getting bigger and bigger each time. And, as a friend once told me, if He does call me to leap mountains, He will be right there beside me. Truly we have an awesome God.

"Blessed be the LORD, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle" -Psalm 144:1

"Lessons from Students"

Um, yeah, it's only day 2 for my blog, and I'm already getting post-happy. =) But this is something I wrote a while ago as a facebook note, so I just thought I would "catch up" by posting it here, too. =)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Let me warn you that I am NO writer, and the following will probably be a very poor imitation of a journal entry. =P I just wanted to sort through my thoughts.

Today I taught my two students. A normal, Tuesday, after-school activity. The girls filed out of the car and very calmly walked over and knocked on the door. I answered it and they stood there with their mother, all three smiling charmingly. They came in and the mother and one of them sat delicately on the couch as the other girl brought the music bag over and sat gracefully on the bench and waited patiently for me... HAHAHA!!!!! NOT. I wish, but alas, no. Did I mention that the girls are age 7 and 5?

One girl shows up at the door giggling like crazy and the other takes her time running around outside swinging her music bag. The mother follows both, looking very tired, and making some remark on how it's been a long day. So far, this doesn't bother me. It's a fairly normal occurrence. This doesn't necessarily mean the lesson will be difficult... or will it?

I started with the 5 yr. old. I'll mention that both girls are excellent students overall- smart, perceptive, creative, and quick at catching on to new concepts. But today, I couldn't get her to focus long enough. When she did, for short spurts, she did fine. But it was so hard to keep trying to bring her attention back to the lesson, or even get her to sit on the bench!! But I managed to keep pasted smile on and was able to truthfully tell her she did a good job by the end of the lesson

Then came the 7 yr. old's lesson. She is much more advanced than her sister, and is usually a very good listener. The problem is, she's stubborn, and today she absolutely refused to listen! From the very first piece, she kept saying that it was too hard, too fast, too slow- she just wanted to do it HER way!! At this point, I was on the verge of tears of frustration. I turned off the metronome and told her to work on another piece. I said nothing as she played it and managed to cool down and finish the lesson with some degree of sanity left in me.

After they left, I was still simmering. Irritated thoughts whirled through my head.What was wrong with her? She would not focus. She would not listen. She refused. She was stubborn. She had the potential to move quickly and do amazing things with these pieces, if only she would LISTEN TO WHAT I'M TELLING HER!! Instead of insisting her own way was better!

Then it hit me. I had seen this behavior before. Many, many times- every week of my life, if not every day. Only... I was the student. God was my teacher, my authority. He wants me to grow, to learn, to do great things for Him- and yet, I stubbornly insist on my own way. I don't want to do things that look too hard. I tell Him that. It's just too hard! If it was my way, it would be better! At least, I'D be happier!

But I'm so wrong. Now that I've been put in the teacher position, I see a glimpse of what I'm doing to God when I refuse His way. HE knows the big picture. HE knows that this little annoying exercise He wants me to do is for good. He can use it to build my endurance, stretch my fingers, keep a steady beat as I play. I may not understand what it's for, but He does. He is the teacher, the master planner- and He is SO much wiser than me! What makes me think that MY way is better? If I know that my plan for the student is better than what they have in mind, how much more beautiful will God's plan for my be?

Now I know why God gave me a stressful lesson. He wanted me to feel exactly what I have been doing to Him. And yet, while I get stressed out and feel like giving up on the student, He NEVER gives up on me. He keeps loving me, ever so steadfastly. 

"What if some were unfaithful? Does their faithlessness nullify the faithfulness of God?" -Romans 3:3

He is patient and enduring. He waits for me to return to Him with a willing spirit, ready to learn to walk HIS way.

Isn't it amazing how God can use students to teach you so much?

A blog.

I've been thinking about getting a blog for quite some time, but I didn't, simply because, well... I couldn't think of a title. =P  But finally, I have "Song of the Stars." (If you're wondering, yes, I did steal the phrase from a song- "Only Hope" from A Walk to Remember.)

Well, the purpose for my blog is stated in the description. While I will probably post about the events and happenings in my life, I hope to be posting regularly about the insights that the Lord is showing me, the verses He has given me to ponder, the lessons He is teaching me, the joys that He calls me to delight in as I grow in my walk with Him.