Wednesday night.
Fewer words fill me with such dread.
....
Ok, I'm kidding. Sorry, I like being melodramatic. ;-)
But still, Wednesday nights are not something that I've looked forward to this semester. Wednesday night, the night before government class, when I realize that I am behind on many assignments and find myself in a panic over what to do. Wednesday night, the middle of the week, where my conscience is abruptly shown how lazy I've been over the weekend and all the damage of my procrastination. Wednesday night, the night were I lose what little control I had on my emotions and words, saying things that I will sorely regret upon waking the next morning.
(And guess who has to put up with me on Wednesday nights? That's right, my family. My patient, long-suffering family. It's amazing how much God can teach you just within your family.)
So here I was, in the mess of Wednesday night, distressed and selfish as usual. Because of course, on Wednesday nights, the world revolves around Vineeta. Oh yes, she is the priority, all her needs and wants must be put before others. If anyone should say the slightest thing with the slightest connotation that might grate on Vineeta's incredibly sensitive nerves, off with their heads! (Figuratively speaking, of course.)
And then, it happened.
The true King heroically burst in, assumed command, and put the would-be queen (i.e. spoiled brat) Vineeta in her place.
It happened like this. Still basking in the fumes of my self-centered stress, I wandered into the kitchen to get a drink of water. Suddenly, I heard a faint noise. Could that be a cry for help coming from my grandpa's bedroom? Unsure of what to do, I peeked in his open doorway to see if anything was wrong. Not seeing him anywhere, I continued into the room. Sure enough, there was my 94-year old grandfather sitting on the floor. He was not injured, but he had tripped over something, fallen down, and was unable to pull himself up without assistance. I ran to get help from my mom, and together, we managed to pull him off the floor and into a chair.
Yet through this little incident, my mirror of vanity was shattered. I still cannot say exactly what happened, but all I know is this: our almighty Lord works in mysterious ways to draw His people back to Himself. In this little gesture, my eyes had been opened. My grandpa is 94. I don't know how much longer he will be with us on earth. Life is short. And in the whirl-wind life that I had been surrounding myself with, I had forgotten that simple truth. There is far more to life than my schoolwork. The world does not revolve around me. "My" world does not even revolve around me. My world revolves around the Lord Jesus Christ. Yet here I was, trying to put me in the center. No wonder I was only finding frustration.
What joy comes from taking the focus off oneself and focusing on the One who is worthy of honor and glory! Life is short. I cannot wait until I am in college. I cannot wait until I have a family of my own. I cannot wait "just a little bit longer." The time to focus my entire being on loving Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength- that time is now. I know that should I live to be old and gray, my regrets will be the time that I wasted vainly on myself, instead of investing my heart in Christ. Though my schedule may seem full, it's a commitment to dwell with Him. There are so many hours of the day where I go about my mundane tasks while letting my mind meander. It's taking moments like that and seeking His face. It is a difficult discipline, but by His grace, He gives strength to keep seeking, and joy in the end. He says, "You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with ALL YOUR HEART."
Enough procrastination. It's time to discipline this lazy mind to love the Lord and seek His face.
"Remember your Creator in the days of your youth..." ~Ecclesiastes 12:1
