In His perfect timing

*Checks date of last post*

*Checks today's date*

*cough*

Um.... hi! =)

I'm really bad at updating. BUT, it does get done, eventually.

Sort of. =)

So, my last post was before India... wow, that seems like years ago!! How can so much happen in two months? And how in the world can I summarize what I learned from even one month in just one post? I guess this will take a few posts. =)

In my last post, I talked about how I didn't feel prepared. What I learned when I arrived in India is that I couldn't possibly have prepared myself. We arrived in Bangalore around midnight on Friday morning. Already having landed, I was still unsure and prepared. The next morning, when I woke up, I STILL wasn't prepared. Why?

Well, because God's timing is perfect. =) He is the only One who can prepare my heart to serve Him.

Here's a cut/edited portion of my *cough one and only* journal entry during the trip:

"Saturday, after breakfast, we had a team meeting. Pastor George updated us on the situation of the church. The situation has changed drastically at Covenant Bible Presbyterian Church. There is now a factor of persecution, from a hostile landlord who has his eye on the church's property. Yet this is location is where the Lord has called them to, and they are determined to trust Him and persevere.

"Though I had heard their mission statement before, this new location just gave it a whole new perspective. It was truly beautiful and stirring to see their heart for serving the Lord through this ministry. I felt like this was finally the answer to my fervent prayer that God would prepare my heart for India. Though I know He was doing it bit by bit, this felt like the final shove. That talk is what God used most powerfully to prepare me. As I meditated on it and spent quality time with God that weekend, I realized He was giving me a perspective for the past year AND the upcoming month of serving Him.

"My problem with the previous trip was that I was out to serve me. Honestly, I was concerned with my reputation. Because I was the youngest, I felt that I had to make a name for myself. This year, I had more responsibilities, and I was nervous. Yet what God showed me was that it's really not about me. I am here to serve Hm and His Kingdom, not myself or man. Suddenly, it didn't matter if my service was a success or a failure in man's eyes. God knows my heart, and no matter what comes out of my mouth, He can and will use it for His glory. The truth (that He's been showing me over the past semester) is that I am weak, immature, inexperienced- in general, not all that I'm cracked up to be. Yet that didn't matter, because it's not about me! He uses even the weakest vessels for His glory. I trust that He will, for this is why He had me on this team.

"Now, I am overjoyed to see His hand in my life over the past year. His timing is not my timing, and for that, I am glad, because it is far better than I could ever imagine!

"After realizing this, I felt ready and eager to serve Him. I have seen God's hand at work this week, especially in VBS. Though I don't know what lies ahead, I am eager to see what the Lord will do, for I am confident that He will do much for His glory!"

The LORD of hosts has sworn:
"As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand... For the LORD of hosts has purposed, and who will annul it? His hand is stretched out, and who will turn it back?"
-Isaiah 14: 24, 27

Of Packing

Ooookay.... long time no update. But here I am, with a real, live post!! *gasp* =)

So, I assume that most of you know that in exactly one week, I will be leaving the country for Bangalore, India. My dad is leading a month-long missions trip through our church, as he did last year. Yeah, it really is that soon. =) So, I've gotten a lot of questions lately, such as, "How are the preparations for India coming?" and "Are you all packed yet?" You would think that with a week left, I would be half-packed, fired up, and ready to go!

Not so, my friends, not so.

Let me just explain that I have this irrational fear of packing. I think it's because throughout my childhood, I had vivid dreams of going to church conferences and the like, and in those dreams, I always forgot something important, or I forgot everything. So I hate packing, because I am paranoid about forgetting something. I also just don't like making decisions- I can't always know what I will need for a month, and what I should leave behind. So overall, packing is a miserable experience for me. Which is why I haven't even so much as gotten my suitcase out. I haven't done any laundry, I haven't set aside clothes or anything for packing, I haven't even looked at my packing list! And the silly thing is, I know that if I wait till the last minute, I am bound to forget more than if I can pack slowly and think about it. Yet I still insist on procrastinating. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me either. Irrational indeed. =)

Well, tonight I was sitting here, and I suddenly realized just how worried I have been about this whole packing thing. I am so afraid that I won't have enough time, yet I am loath to begin. For some reason, I began to panic. What if I didn't have enough time to pack? I'm still busy trying to finish up school and other things! Plus there's just so much VBS preparation to do! What if I won't get to pack, and I'll have to get all stressed out trying to pack on the day before leaving?

As I was rambling about all these worries to God, He suddenly reminded me of a passage-

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ...And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ...But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
-Matthew 6:25, 27-31, 33

I suddenly realized how silly I was being. Here I was, about to leave for a month-long mission trip to India, a rare opportunity for a girl my age, and I was worrying about... clothing??? Material things?? How quickly I forget how our Lord provides! He will provide clothing and material things. I just need to trust Him to guide me to make quick decisions. He wants me instead to focus on His Kingdom and glorifying Him. I have a truly unique opportunity to do so. He wants me to focus on preparing my heart rather than my suitcase.

That brought me comfort... until I realized that I don't know how to go about my tasks for VBS! It's not a huge job, yet I found myself worrying. Doubts plagued my mind. What makes me think that I'm so mature that I can do this? I'm only a teenager! What can I really do? And I am so uneloquent; I don't know how to share about the Lord clearly, especially across cultural barriers! Fear arose in me once again. Yet the Lord gently and lovingly chided me yet again by reminding me of Moses. I looked up the passage in Exodus, and realized how much I am like Moses! When God called him, he was afraid. He made excuses. But God reminded him Who was in control. Moses' second excuse was that he was slow of speech and not eloquent; how could he go before Pharaoh and say all these things? But God reminded him Who made his mouth! If I'm doing something for the sake of the Kingdom, why am I afraid? God is with me, for He is the One working! He chooses to use broken vessels like us even for his glorious purposes!

Ok, well, I'm sure you all know by now that once I get started on a blog post, I can't stop. I always think to myself, "Oh, it'll just be a short one this time! That way people will actually want to read it!" Ehehe... I really can't write short blog posts. =) But, I just wanted to close with a passage that the Lord gave me last year in India-

"This will be your opportunity to bear witness. Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict."

-Luke 21:13-15

One of my new favorite songs...

Yay! Thanks to Esther for telling me how to post vids!! =) This song is one of my favorites from the movie Fireproof.

God's hugs.

Quick question: Does anyone know how to post youtube videos in a blog post? I can't seem to figure it out. =P

Random thought: It's really hard to write what I intended to write about while listening to the more "bouncy" track on the Esther soundtrack. =P

Back to the post... which I really am going to finish. Kinda.

Excuse me, I'm really loopy from happiness and lack of sleep. =)

So, before I begin, I think I need to make a correction to a previous post. In my post "Surrender," I'm afraid painted a wrong picture. After talking with some friends a few weeks ago, I realized how easy it is to slip into the mindset that God's will and way can't be in line with our will, naturally. He does call us to surrender to Him, but that doesn't mean that God's way will always be opposite of what we want to do. He calls us to delight ourselves in Him, and He will give us the desires of our heart. A friend quoted St. Augustine on the subject- "Love God and do as you please." If we really love Him, our desires will often be in line with His will. So I wanted to apologize for possibly coming across in the wrong way. I was referring to surrendering sin and ungodly habits, as well as (not necessarily bad) desires that God wanted me to look away from so that I could see His will.

~*~*~

Ok, so this will not be a very deep or intellectual post, but I wanted to share a brief encouragement from yesterday, a day full of little ups and downs...

I've been trying to break my terrible sleep pattern lately by getting up earlier. So Monday morning I was up, feeling alive and excited. Whenever I think about waking up early, I immediately begin calculating how soon I will be able to finish my homework, piano practice, and various other responsibilities. I have this crazy notion in my head that if I wake up early, I will somehow be super motivated to move fast. It happens sometimes!... but not very much. It did not happen yesterday. Somehow I had a lot of trouble getting myself to do things quickly, and between difficult, tedious school work and 2 1/2 hour long piano practice, my day went by pretty quickly. Before I knew it, it was 5:30, and time to get ready for Irish dance class. By this time I was feeling pretty discouraged at my lack of progress for the day.

At Irish dance, it was just one of those days. You know, the kind where you feel you are trying your hardest, yet no results are visible? Yeah, that kind. Come to think of it, piano practice had been just like that as well! I was so frustrated. I was working long and hard, my muscles ached, my toes were cramped from the hard shoes, yet I couldn't keep my feet "turned out," as is so necessary in Irish dance. For some reason, I was feeling very discouraged in spirit. But when the teacher called us back over to see how we were doing, she watched me do the step, smiled widely, and said, "Vineeta, your feet have never been this turned out before! It looks amazing!" Immediately my spirits soared. All that work had not been in vain. And one of the other ladies acknowledged the quality of my work! It's amazing what God can use to lift a discouraged spirit. Just a simple, short phrase of encouragement about Irish dance completely lifted my heart. Silly as it seems, I found my eyes welling up with a few tears at the unexpected blessing.

That little comment totally made my day. God created us so... creatively! He makes us to respond to situations differently. He created us with different love languages. And of course, because He made us that way, He knows exactly how to show us that kind of love. For me, that comment was exactly what I needed that day. I like to think of these things as "God's hugs"- the little things that He gives us to renew our strength and give us delight in Him. To me, God's hugs are: an encouraging email from a friend, a comment like this one, a beautiful sunset, looking up at a clear blue sky, a Scripture passage that speaks to my heart, a long talk with a friend, a morning/evening alone with Him, hearing the rustle of palm trees in the breeze, observing children (seeing what it means to have the faith of a child)... the list goes on.

What about you? What unique things does God give you to delight in Him by? What are some of God's hugs to you? =)

Brief encouragement...

Hey everyone! It's really late, so I can't give a full update, but I just wanted to share a very familiar passage. As famous as it is, God really used this passage tonight to encourage my heart and give me strength and joy in Him as I spent some time alone with Him. He brought this message straight to my heart straight to my heart just when I needed it, to restore my hope!

~*~*~*~*~

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?

...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

-Romans 8:35, 37-39

Surrender.

About a week ago, I was reading Jeremiah 38. At this point in the book, the threat of the Chaldeans' invasion was hanging over Judah. Earlier in the book, God had said that if Israel and Judah repented of their sin and idolatry and turned back to follow Him, He would relent of the foretold destruction. Now, at this point, it was too late for that. Israel and Judah refused to listen. But the Lord in His mercy offered them another option, which He presented through Jeremiah to Zedekiah the king of Judah.

 "Then Jeremiah said to Zedekiah, "Thus says the LORD, the God of hosts, the God of Israel: If you will surrender to the officials of the king of Babylon, then your life shall be spared, and this city shall not be burned with fire, and you and your house shall live. But if you do not surrender to the officials of the king of Babylon, then this city shall be given into the hand of the Chaldeans, and they shall burn it with fire, and you shall not escape from their hand." -Jeremiah 38:17-18

For some reason, this really stuck out to me. The word "surrender" caught my eye. As I thought about it, I realized that it made perfect sense in a military perspective- you know, "Surrender now, and your lives will be spared" etc., etc.  But to me, it still sounded strange. God was telling them to surrender? It doesn't seem to make sense from a spiritual perspective. My thought was, Are we not to be actively fighting against the enemy, refusing to give in? When I thought about it again, I realized that the Chaldeans were not the enemy in that situation. No, in fact, they were an instrument of God's will. The real enemy is selfishness, stubbornness, and pride. All these things are a hindrance in faith. God had a plan to save and redeem His people, but for these reasons, the people weren't willing to trust Him. Selfish concerns must have risen in hearts. Stubborn attitudes ignoring Him. Pride, people thinking that their plan is better than God's.  These are the obstructions to be fought; they are the fiery darts of the evil one.

When God wanted the people to surrender to the Chaldeans, He really was asking them to surrender to Him. It was all part of His plan. But what does it really mean to surrender? I looked up several definitions (on dictionary.com) of the word, but these were the first three:

1.	to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.

2.	to give (oneself) up, as to the police.

3.	to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.:He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.

I really like these three, because I think they really apply to how God wants us to surrender ourselves. Translated in simple words, He wants us to surrender our possessions, our bodies, and our lifestyle to Him.

By "possessions" I do not refer simply to physical possessions. Often, He asks us to surrender an attitude, one that is not glorifying to Him.  Selfishness, greed, rebellion, pride... all those attitudes that quietly slip into our hearts. Sometimes He asks us to surrender a physical possession, maybe one that we are a little too attached to. Sometimes He asks us to surrender a worry or a fear to Him- which, oddly, is easier said than done. He gently asks us to let Him carry our burdens.

Surrendering our bodies means offering up ourselves as a vessel of service in the Kingdom. It means letting Christ use us however He wants to- and He will most definitely use us if we let Him! It means being committed to serving Him in whatever way He presents us with.  It means sacrificing our time and energy. It means sacrificing some of the things that we as humans naturally seek after, like spare time to dote on ourselves.

The third definition just drives the other two farther into the heart. All this sacrificing that we are to do for Christ- it's not a one-time only thing. It's not a short bargain or deal. It's a lifestyle. It's a continuous, dedicated, focused effort. It begins in the little choices, like how to spend free time. It's an every-day dying to self. It's hard. Nowhere in the Bible does it ever say that taking up your cross daily is easy! But I know that it is so worth it. When I think of the contrary, I think of wallowing in guilt and misery. If we take up our cross daily, the Lord will reward us. We will reap the benefits in Christ!

I know God is calling me to surrender to Him, in so many different ways. "Surrender to Me. Let go of your own will, fall back in My arms. Trust my plan for your life. Do not fear; be still and know that I am God. Seek my will for your life. Search for delight in me, and you will find true joy."

Surrender. Who knew there could be so much victory in Christ behind the word?

Love.

"For I am the LORD your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

I give Egypt as your ransom,

Cush and Seba in exchange for you.

Because you are precious in my eyes,

and honored and I love you,

I give men in return for you,

peoples in exchange for your life."

-Isaiah 43:3-4.

Yes, I know this is a little late for Valentine's Day, but this is
one my absolute, all-time favorite verses. This is what I
celebrate during this Valentine season-

A beautiful love story between me and Christ, authored by
The Author of love and romance. My fellow single sisters in
Christ, please don't be depressed this season-

you have more than a special someone... you have the special
Someone! He loves us with an amazing, indescribable,
everlasting love! Join in me in delighting in Him and His love!

Happy Valentine's Day! (belatedly.) <3

"P.S."- I realized that I just updated yesterday, so I wanted to say that any comments on
my previous posts are welcomed by me! =)
I love getting comments on anything, whether it's current or not.

Oh, and credit for the photo goes to Beth and her wonderful

photography skills!! <3