So.

It's been a while, hasn't it?

I feel very guilty posting at all on here, since, as I regret to say, this will not be a "real" post.

I just wanted to share one thought:

The things of this world wear out. So does our enthusiasm for them.

But when we see our GOD at work, our wonder of Him does not fade. Rather, the more we see glimpses of our LORD, the more awed we become.

Now, *that* is something to live for. =)

So, my internet silence does not imply that the last 4 months have been empty. No indeed, God has shown me some incredible things- so many, that I don't know where to begin. (That, and, I am lazy. *sigh*) But, hopefully, HOPEFULLY, a post should be forthcoming in the near future. =)

Until then... delight in our God for Who He is and how He has shown Himself to you- and join me as we strive to seek His face each day!

"You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told." ~ Psalm 40:5

(photography, once again, by Beth- this time, from India!)

Return of the King

Wednesday night.

Fewer words fill me with such dread.

....

Ok, I'm kidding. Sorry, I like being melodramatic. ;-)

But still, Wednesday nights are not something that I've looked forward to this semester. Wednesday night, the night before government class, when I realize that I am behind on many assignments and find myself in a panic over what to do. Wednesday night, the middle of the week, where my conscience is abruptly shown how lazy I've been over the weekend and all the damage of my procrastination. Wednesday night, the night were I lose what little control I had on my emotions and words, saying things that I will sorely regret upon waking the next morning.

(And guess who has to put up with me on Wednesday nights? That's right, my family. My patient, long-suffering family. It's amazing how much God can teach you just within your family.)

So here I was, in the mess of Wednesday night, distressed and selfish as usual. Because of course, on Wednesday nights, the world revolves around Vineeta. Oh yes, she is the priority, all her needs and wants must be put before others. If anyone should say the slightest thing with the slightest connotation that might grate on Vineeta's incredibly sensitive nerves, off with their heads! (Figuratively speaking, of course.)

And then, it happened.

The true King heroically burst in, assumed command, and put the would-be queen (i.e. spoiled brat) Vineeta in her place.

It happened like this. Still basking in the fumes of my self-centered stress, I wandered into the kitchen to get a drink of water. Suddenly, I heard a faint noise. Could that be a cry for help coming from my grandpa's bedroom? Unsure of what to do, I peeked in his open doorway to see if anything was wrong. Not seeing him anywhere, I continued into the room. Sure enough, there was my 94-year old grandfather sitting on the floor. He was not injured, but he had tripped over something, fallen down, and was unable to pull himself up without assistance. I ran to get help from my mom, and together, we managed to pull him off the floor and into a chair.

Yet through this little incident, my mirror of vanity was shattered. I still cannot say exactly what happened, but all I know is this: our almighty Lord works in mysterious ways to draw His people back to Himself. In this little gesture, my eyes had been opened. My grandpa is 94. I don't know how much longer he will be with us on earth. Life is short. And in the whirl-wind life that I had been surrounding myself with, I had forgotten that simple truth. There is far more to life than my schoolwork. The world does not revolve around me. "My" world does not even revolve around me. My world revolves around the Lord Jesus Christ. Yet here I was, trying to put me in the center. No wonder I was only finding frustration.

What joy comes from taking the focus off oneself and focusing on the One who is worthy of honor and glory! Life is short. I cannot wait until I am in college. I cannot wait until I have a family of my own. I cannot wait "just a little bit longer." The time to focus my entire being on loving Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength- that time is now. I know that should I live to be old and gray, my regrets will be the time that I wasted vainly on myself, instead of investing my heart in Christ. Though my schedule may seem full, it's a commitment to dwell with Him. There are so many hours of the day where I go about my mundane tasks while letting my mind meander. It's taking moments like that and seeking His face. It is a difficult discipline, but by His grace, He gives strength to keep seeking, and joy in the end. He says, "You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with ALL YOUR HEART."

Enough procrastination. It's time to discipline this lazy mind to love the Lord and seek His face.

"Remember your Creator in the days of your youth..." ~Ecclesiastes 12:1

In His perfect timing

*Checks date of last post*

*Checks today's date*

*cough*

Um.... hi! =)

I'm really bad at updating. BUT, it does get done, eventually.

Sort of. =)

So, my last post was before India... wow, that seems like years ago!! How can so much happen in two months? And how in the world can I summarize what I learned from even one month in just one post? I guess this will take a few posts. =)

In my last post, I talked about how I didn't feel prepared. What I learned when I arrived in India is that I couldn't possibly have prepared myself. We arrived in Bangalore around midnight on Friday morning. Already having landed, I was still unsure and prepared. The next morning, when I woke up, I STILL wasn't prepared. Why?

Well, because God's timing is perfect. =) He is the only One who can prepare my heart to serve Him.

Here's a cut/edited portion of my *cough one and only* journal entry during the trip:

"Saturday, after breakfast, we had a team meeting. Pastor George updated us on the situation of the church. The situation has changed drastically at Covenant Bible Presbyterian Church. There is now a factor of persecution, from a hostile landlord who has his eye on the church's property. Yet this is location is where the Lord has called them to, and they are determined to trust Him and persevere.

"Though I had heard their mission statement before, this new location just gave it a whole new perspective. It was truly beautiful and stirring to see their heart for serving the Lord through this ministry. I felt like this was finally the answer to my fervent prayer that God would prepare my heart for India. Though I know He was doing it bit by bit, this felt like the final shove. That talk is what God used most powerfully to prepare me. As I meditated on it and spent quality time with God that weekend, I realized He was giving me a perspective for the past year AND the upcoming month of serving Him.

"My problem with the previous trip was that I was out to serve me. Honestly, I was concerned with my reputation. Because I was the youngest, I felt that I had to make a name for myself. This year, I had more responsibilities, and I was nervous. Yet what God showed me was that it's really not about me. I am here to serve Hm and His Kingdom, not myself or man. Suddenly, it didn't matter if my service was a success or a failure in man's eyes. God knows my heart, and no matter what comes out of my mouth, He can and will use it for His glory. The truth (that He's been showing me over the past semester) is that I am weak, immature, inexperienced- in general, not all that I'm cracked up to be. Yet that didn't matter, because it's not about me! He uses even the weakest vessels for His glory. I trust that He will, for this is why He had me on this team.

"Now, I am overjoyed to see His hand in my life over the past year. His timing is not my timing, and for that, I am glad, because it is far better than I could ever imagine!

"After realizing this, I felt ready and eager to serve Him. I have seen God's hand at work this week, especially in VBS. Though I don't know what lies ahead, I am eager to see what the Lord will do, for I am confident that He will do much for His glory!"

The LORD of hosts has sworn:
"As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand... For the LORD of hosts has purposed, and who will annul it? His hand is stretched out, and who will turn it back?"
-Isaiah 14: 24, 27

Of Packing

Ooookay.... long time no update. But here I am, with a real, live post!! *gasp* =)

So, I assume that most of you know that in exactly one week, I will be leaving the country for Bangalore, India. My dad is leading a month-long missions trip through our church, as he did last year. Yeah, it really is that soon. =) So, I've gotten a lot of questions lately, such as, "How are the preparations for India coming?" and "Are you all packed yet?" You would think that with a week left, I would be half-packed, fired up, and ready to go!

Not so, my friends, not so.

Let me just explain that I have this irrational fear of packing. I think it's because throughout my childhood, I had vivid dreams of going to church conferences and the like, and in those dreams, I always forgot something important, or I forgot everything. So I hate packing, because I am paranoid about forgetting something. I also just don't like making decisions- I can't always know what I will need for a month, and what I should leave behind. So overall, packing is a miserable experience for me. Which is why I haven't even so much as gotten my suitcase out. I haven't done any laundry, I haven't set aside clothes or anything for packing, I haven't even looked at my packing list! And the silly thing is, I know that if I wait till the last minute, I am bound to forget more than if I can pack slowly and think about it. Yet I still insist on procrastinating. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me either. Irrational indeed. =)

Well, tonight I was sitting here, and I suddenly realized just how worried I have been about this whole packing thing. I am so afraid that I won't have enough time, yet I am loath to begin. For some reason, I began to panic. What if I didn't have enough time to pack? I'm still busy trying to finish up school and other things! Plus there's just so much VBS preparation to do! What if I won't get to pack, and I'll have to get all stressed out trying to pack on the day before leaving?

As I was rambling about all these worries to God, He suddenly reminded me of a passage-

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ...And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ...But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
-Matthew 6:25, 27-31, 33

I suddenly realized how silly I was being. Here I was, about to leave for a month-long mission trip to India, a rare opportunity for a girl my age, and I was worrying about... clothing??? Material things?? How quickly I forget how our Lord provides! He will provide clothing and material things. I just need to trust Him to guide me to make quick decisions. He wants me instead to focus on His Kingdom and glorifying Him. I have a truly unique opportunity to do so. He wants me to focus on preparing my heart rather than my suitcase.

That brought me comfort... until I realized that I don't know how to go about my tasks for VBS! It's not a huge job, yet I found myself worrying. Doubts plagued my mind. What makes me think that I'm so mature that I can do this? I'm only a teenager! What can I really do? And I am so uneloquent; I don't know how to share about the Lord clearly, especially across cultural barriers! Fear arose in me once again. Yet the Lord gently and lovingly chided me yet again by reminding me of Moses. I looked up the passage in Exodus, and realized how much I am like Moses! When God called him, he was afraid. He made excuses. But God reminded him Who was in control. Moses' second excuse was that he was slow of speech and not eloquent; how could he go before Pharaoh and say all these things? But God reminded him Who made his mouth! If I'm doing something for the sake of the Kingdom, why am I afraid? God is with me, for He is the One working! He chooses to use broken vessels like us even for his glorious purposes!

Ok, well, I'm sure you all know by now that once I get started on a blog post, I can't stop. I always think to myself, "Oh, it'll just be a short one this time! That way people will actually want to read it!" Ehehe... I really can't write short blog posts. =) But, I just wanted to close with a passage that the Lord gave me last year in India-

"This will be your opportunity to bear witness. Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict."

-Luke 21:13-15

One of my new favorite songs...

Yay! Thanks to Esther for telling me how to post vids!! =) This song is one of my favorites from the movie Fireproof.

God's hugs.

Quick question: Does anyone know how to post youtube videos in a blog post? I can't seem to figure it out. =P

Random thought: It's really hard to write what I intended to write about while listening to the more "bouncy" track on the Esther soundtrack. =P

Back to the post... which I really am going to finish. Kinda.

Excuse me, I'm really loopy from happiness and lack of sleep. =)

So, before I begin, I think I need to make a correction to a previous post. In my post "Surrender," I'm afraid painted a wrong picture. After talking with some friends a few weeks ago, I realized how easy it is to slip into the mindset that God's will and way can't be in line with our will, naturally. He does call us to surrender to Him, but that doesn't mean that God's way will always be opposite of what we want to do. He calls us to delight ourselves in Him, and He will give us the desires of our heart. A friend quoted St. Augustine on the subject- "Love God and do as you please." If we really love Him, our desires will often be in line with His will. So I wanted to apologize for possibly coming across in the wrong way. I was referring to surrendering sin and ungodly habits, as well as (not necessarily bad) desires that God wanted me to look away from so that I could see His will.

~*~*~

Ok, so this will not be a very deep or intellectual post, but I wanted to share a brief encouragement from yesterday, a day full of little ups and downs...

I've been trying to break my terrible sleep pattern lately by getting up earlier. So Monday morning I was up, feeling alive and excited. Whenever I think about waking up early, I immediately begin calculating how soon I will be able to finish my homework, piano practice, and various other responsibilities. I have this crazy notion in my head that if I wake up early, I will somehow be super motivated to move fast. It happens sometimes!... but not very much. It did not happen yesterday. Somehow I had a lot of trouble getting myself to do things quickly, and between difficult, tedious school work and 2 1/2 hour long piano practice, my day went by pretty quickly. Before I knew it, it was 5:30, and time to get ready for Irish dance class. By this time I was feeling pretty discouraged at my lack of progress for the day.

At Irish dance, it was just one of those days. You know, the kind where you feel you are trying your hardest, yet no results are visible? Yeah, that kind. Come to think of it, piano practice had been just like that as well! I was so frustrated. I was working long and hard, my muscles ached, my toes were cramped from the hard shoes, yet I couldn't keep my feet "turned out," as is so necessary in Irish dance. For some reason, I was feeling very discouraged in spirit. But when the teacher called us back over to see how we were doing, she watched me do the step, smiled widely, and said, "Vineeta, your feet have never been this turned out before! It looks amazing!" Immediately my spirits soared. All that work had not been in vain. And one of the other ladies acknowledged the quality of my work! It's amazing what God can use to lift a discouraged spirit. Just a simple, short phrase of encouragement about Irish dance completely lifted my heart. Silly as it seems, I found my eyes welling up with a few tears at the unexpected blessing.

That little comment totally made my day. God created us so... creatively! He makes us to respond to situations differently. He created us with different love languages. And of course, because He made us that way, He knows exactly how to show us that kind of love. For me, that comment was exactly what I needed that day. I like to think of these things as "God's hugs"- the little things that He gives us to renew our strength and give us delight in Him. To me, God's hugs are: an encouraging email from a friend, a comment like this one, a beautiful sunset, looking up at a clear blue sky, a Scripture passage that speaks to my heart, a long talk with a friend, a morning/evening alone with Him, hearing the rustle of palm trees in the breeze, observing children (seeing what it means to have the faith of a child)... the list goes on.

What about you? What unique things does God give you to delight in Him by? What are some of God's hugs to you? =)

Brief encouragement...

Hey everyone! It's really late, so I can't give a full update, but I just wanted to share a very familiar passage. As famous as it is, God really used this passage tonight to encourage my heart and give me strength and joy in Him as I spent some time alone with Him. He brought this message straight to my heart straight to my heart just when I needed it, to restore my hope!

~*~*~*~*~

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?

...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

-Romans 8:35, 37-39