"Only Three Weeks"

As soon as she walked in the church door, my friend gave me a hug. "Aww, this is your last Sunday here!" she cried. "I'm going to miss you!" A bit perplexed, I returned the sentiment, but then added, "It's only three weeks."

Only three weeks.

For the rest of the day, I found myself repeating that phrase to many other friends as I said my goodbyes.

That time of year has sneaked up on us faster than ever before. That time of year is referring to mid-May, when my family has been able to lead a mission team to Bangalore, India, for the past three years. This will be our fourth trip, but so many factors will be different this time. Firstly, our time will be shorter. Instead of a four-week trip, we will have only three weeks to complete our variety of ministry activities. Secondly, we are trying to do much more than we ever have- in a shorter period of time. Thirdly, many sudden changes of plans have rendered us virtually incapable of knowing what to expect.

All these factors, combined with the business of the day-to-day busy school and work schedules, have made this year feel most sudden. Honestly, I am still having a hard time making myself believe that in only two days we will be landing in Bangalore.

Yet today, God began stirring in my heart a question. Why is it that I choose to describe this trip as "only three weeks"? Why am I discouraging the excitement of my friends and church family with this belittling phrase?

Somehow, in the midst of frustration and preparation, I had come to see this trip as just that- a short time crowded with much work. A trip full of one event after the other with little sleep in between. A trip where we wouldn't have the time to develop relationships and connect with the church like we had before.

But God kept pressing one challenge on my heart:
"Is my hand shortened, that I cannot redeem?
Or have I no power to deliver?" [Isaiah 50:2]

Though we have planned and purposed, few of those plans seem to be working out. In the midst of my confusion, I forget that He is the One who is directing our steps. He WILL work for the glory of His name and His Kingdom. Though I struggle with lacking eyes of faith, His Kingdom purposes will be accomplished. When His word goes out, it will not return void. No matter how unprepared and weak we His vessels feel, He is pleased to use such feeble people as us to labor for His Kingdom.

Lord, restore to me the eyes of faith. Keep me from seeing this trip as "only three weeks."

May we be joyful prayer as we anticipate these three weeks of seeing God at work in the nation on India!

Once more...

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The sound of the buzzer pierced the air as the scores of fans alongside me leaped up screaming with happiness. Butler had won! The Bulldogs were headed to the Championship! Hinkle Fieldhouse was indeed alive and celebrating the victory. My sisters and I had come to join the mass of fans at the viewing party. It was indeed a thrilling evening; the Fieldhouse was packed with people, and the time-outs and breaks were set up to make one feel that this was the actual game we were experiencing. Earlier, I was hesitating in my decision to go, but I certainly do not regret it now. It is so fun to see all of Indianapolis- and even Indiana overall- rally together to support this one team from this tiny school. And for the second year in a row, the Bulldogs have a chance at winning the championship.

~*~

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

In total contrast to Saturday, the cheering at Hinkle Fieldhouse was subdued. Three minutes to go, and the earlier frenzied noise of the substantial crowd had died down to a few half-hearted cheers. Three minutes to go, and the Butler Bulldogs trailed the U-Conn Huskies by thirteen points. I scanned the crowd and saw the solemn looks of resignation all around me. When many people began gathering their belongings and leaving the fieldhouse, we had to face the sad truth. The Bulldogs were going to lose the NCAA Championship game for the second year in a row.

The Bulldogs knew it too. After perhaps their worst night full of mistakes, they could not recover. Unlike last year, they did not even have the comfort of knowing that they played a good game. The looks on their faces from the plasma screen were heart-rending. I just kept thinking to myself, “If we are this disappointed, I cannot imagine how they feel right now.”

News articles this morning confirmed that thought. Reports poured in, telling of their breakdowns in the locker room after the game. Just reading about it brought tears to my eyes. And yet, I was moved by the stories that told of the clarity that moment brought to them: it was truly not about winning, or even ultimately how they played last night. Though the scars remain, what really mattered is that they were a team, a unit that loved and cared about each other.

I could empathize with that realization. Here I was, getting caught up in the defeat of my favorite basketball team. As sad as it was, it reminded me how small this event is in the grand spectrum of life. Yes, it was disappointing, but there are far greater and more glorious things in life than a basketball game. There are far more things worthy of focusing my time and mental energy on. Lord, thank You for using this game to remind me, as You did last year at this time, to invest my heart in what truly matters. Teach me to lay up incorruptible treasure in heaven.

“...They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.” ~ 1 Corinthians 9:25

Inception.

Imagine.

Imagine that the world around you is not true reality.

This is a concept that has been pondered and explored over and over through literature and film. But the 2010 box office hit movie Inception puts a slightly different spin on the issue-

What if the world around you was actually a dream cleverly designed by someone else? What if you could create a dream for others, travel inside it and plant an idea in their minds?

In a fascinating plot of dreams and reality, protagonist Dom Cobb is a professional “extractor”- essentially a thief who steals ideas from the dreams of brilliant businessmen before they have a chance to act on those ideas. The film's main plot begins when Cobb is offered an even riskier job- inception, the planting of an idea in another's mind via dreams. Along the way he assembles a team of brilliant dream-thieves, encounters unexpected mental bulwarks and struggles with his unfulfilled desire to leave his work behind and return home to his two motherless children.

I had heard many great reviews on this movie, but this weekend I was finally able to watch it and appraise it myself. Honestly, I was not expecting to like it because I had heard it was thoroughly confusing. But surprisingly, Inception's clever plot and unique twists blew me away! I truly enjoyed every minute of the movie. The mental challenge of the concepts was both stretching and fun. It was definitely not a typical science-fiction movie. In fact, I found it to be more artsy and emotional, qualities that I enjoy in a movie.

However, as I thought about it further, I noticed that I have had a greater interest in fantasy books and movies lately. There is nothing wrong with fantasy, in and of itself, but it too often seems like an escape from reality. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Satan often likes to make us think that fantasy is better than reality. This is why it is so crucial to analyze the message of movies like Inception, which question whether reality is better than the dream. For some (like me), tuning out of life's difficulties and turning to fantasy can be a great temptation. As I pondered this temptation, God brought Psalm 4:2-3 to my mind-

“O men... How long will you love vain words and seek after lies? But know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him.”

I love this passage because it gives the reason for turning aside from vain lies- the LORD has set apart me apart for Himself. He hears me when I call to Him. He desires an intimate relationship with me. This is reality, and it is beautiful, indeed, far more beautiful than any fantasy world you could ever think of! Lord Jesus, keep me from the love of vain lies. Show me the beauty of reality in the gospel. Help me to embrace that awesome truth of Your love.

Belated Thanksgiving Thoughts.

This is a portion of a journal entry I wrote over Thanksgiving break.

~*~

...Thanksgiving day itself was so much fun! After staying up ridiculously late talking to Nick and Nirmala, who are both home for break, I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed in time for the 9:30 Thanksgiving service at church. It was a small and informal affair, but it was nevertheless a great way to start out my day. We had a time of singing and prayer, and Pastor Johnston read a children's version of the Thanksgiving story. I was expecting to hear just the same old facts I had heard all my life, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that the book was a very well-written account from Squanto's perspective. It kept a very biblical worldview as it told of his kidnapping, slavery in Europe and finally his return to America. It even compared Squanto to Joseph in the Old Testament, who went through many torturous trials, yet God was behind it all, working it together for good. Reminding me to thank God in all circumstances, the story definitely gave a good perspective to Thanksgiving day.

Now that I think about it, God was laying that message on my heart all day. In the morning, I read Psalm 40 during my quiet time. What struck me about that particular psalm is the way David recalled God's help and praised Him for His deliverance. But David was not in a time of peace and plenty; on the contrary, he seemed to be in a difficult situation, for in verse 17 he calls himself poor and needy. But he still begins this beautiful psalm by remembering what God has already done for him. For many, this Thanksgiving day does not come in the midst of a time of prosperity but in a time of struggle. Yet both the psalm and the story reminded me that it was a day to pause and be encouraged in any circumstances because I have seen the Lord's goodness at work in my life. He is ever faithful and unchanging, and He will work all these things together for His glory.

The ECHO Experience

As my sophomore year came to a close, I was faced with the realization that next fall, I would be a junior. This meant harder classes, college preparation, and generally more responsibility. Suddenly, my parents were not reminding me to do everything anymore. I had to take the initiative. I was nervous. I was not sure I could handle the responsibility of growing up.

But this summer, I had an experience that changed my view of responsibility. I took a two-week trip to Florida with thirteen other high school students to work at an agricultural farm called ECHO- Educational Concerns for Hunger Organization. Here, interns are trained to grow crops in different soils. Then, they take this skill with them to hungry people in the world and impart this knowledge to them. We were simply there to assist their work. I was eager to be a part of such an amazing ministry, yet just as I feared responsibility, I feared that I would not be able to handle the harsh conditions and physical labor. Little did I know how much God would use this ECHO experience to change my life.

Certainly I learned much about hard work at ECHO. Yet what struck me the most- between the sun's blazing heat and the sore muscles- was that I am not alone in this process of growing up. This was my first trip where I had no family members or close friends with me. When the day's work was exhausting and I found myself overwhelmed by the dynamics of relationships with those around me, I had no family or older friends to talk to about it. For the first time in my life, I knew that going to God was my only option. I knew I was totally dependent on Him. As I learned to take each struggle and burden to Him, I found a peace that I had never known before. Each time I ran to Him, confused, tired, and guilty over sin, I found compassion. I realized that He wanted me to come to Him; He wanted to give me rest.

This ECHO experience made me see that He is with me as I take on more responsibility. I realized that growing up is not about standing on your own two feet, being independent, or having all the answers. No, growing up in Christ is about becoming more and more dependent on Christ. I have seen my weakness and insufficiency greatly this summer. Yet I have also seen that His grace is sufficient for my life, for He is with me always.

~*~

Well, this is rather late. =P Still catching up with my summer... but here's some pictures of some of my highlights!

The work! (Potting bamboo plants here)

The Breakfast Line

Friendship!

Machetes! =D (Beware...)

Mudfights!

Our amazing team.

May 29, 2010- India Missions trip.

I pushed open the door to the sanctuary to find dozens of eager little faces smiling at me from the mat on the floor. Today was the day of the gospel musical presentation we had put together. Our program consisted of singing psalms and hymns, a short skit of the Abraham and Isaac story, and a gospel message by the pastor of the church. We had worked hard all week in preparation for this day- singing, planning, acting- and now, it was finally here. But at the moment, I was more thrilled to see these these familiar faces looking up at me. This presentation was a follow-up to the VBS we had conducted the previous week; it was an opportunity for the children to invite their family and friends to see what they had learned at VBS and hear the gospel preached. We even had the children sing their VBS songs for the parents!

Since we had gotten to know many of these children so well, I was eager to see them again! I smiled back at the shining faces and waved to a few. We still had several minutes before the program started, so I knew that I had time to talk to some of them. As I scanned the crowd for familiar faces, one little girl caught my eye. She was very small, her curly black hair was pulled into pigtails, and her eyes looked very glossy and red, but when I smiled at her, she returned the sweetest smile of pure happiness with the attention I had given her. I did not remember her from VBS; she must have been a friend of some of the others. But something about this girl just captured my heart.

The program continued very smoothly as planned, and afterwards, we had a time of games and refreshment for all our guests. Naturally, the children wanted to play their favorite game- duck, duck, goose (a game that was still a novelty to them). So the game commenced, with many laughs as several adults joined in. As I glanced up from the game, I saw the very same little girl (I later found out her name was Swathi) I had seen earlier heading towards me. Fairly certain that she knew no English, I tapped the floor next to me, inviting her to sit with me. The sweet smile appeared on her face again as she nodded and sat next to me. I soon became engrossed in the entertainment of the game, so much so that I was surprised to find a little hand tugging at my skirt. I looked down at Swathi and was met with her hopeful eyes looking into mine as she gestured to my lap, silently asking for permission to sit there. I nodded, and she climbed into my lap. No words were spoken, but I could just see by her shining eyes how much she valued the love she was receiving. As I put an arm around her, I wondered to myself, “Where does she come from? Is she being loved there?” A lump rose in my throat. It is amazing how love can transcend language barriers. But oh, how I longed for her to know the everlasting love of Jesus! Yet because of the language barrier, I was incapable of even telling her about this love. In that moment, all I could do was trust in the Lord's perfect plan and pray that she would grow up to know His unending, unfading love.

Hello, world.

...Or blog readers. That works, too. =)

Sooo. How do I explain my 4-month silence?

...

Not coming up with a valid excuse. (Laziness is not valid.) =)

See, it goes something like this: Life is jammed packed with action, silences, laughter, tears, and many, many lessons that God has been teaching me. Then, I get overwhelmed by everything that is going on and fail to update. And it all piles up. And the motivation to update hits rock bottom. =) But, I really am going to try to work on changing that pattern this fall, because I am taking a writing class that requires journals. So, hopefully, some of them will end up on here.

Until THAT happens... =) Here's my summer in pictures!

India 2010 (May 12-June 9)

Teaching VBS

Little friends

Abraham and Isaac skit for Gospel Musical Presentation

The girls on the team =)

Too much fun... =)

Climbing hills, exploring hidden trails...

Happiness in a picture! =)

Our team.*Smiles* =)